I Can See

It’s here. Another year has passed us by and as my family prepares for Christmas, I can’t help but think where has the time gone? It seems like it was just yesterday we were saying goodbye to 2013 and now we have to kiss 2014 goodbye. Time. It’s a funny concept really. We want more of it. We want it to go faster. But then we want it to go by slower. But we don’t always get what we want because sometimes what we want isn’t what we need and sometimes what we want isn’t what God wants. And that’s the thing of it all, the nitty gritty of life. And it’s hard to understand and it’s even harder to accept.

There is something greater than ourselves out there and He speaks to me. He shakes me and holds me and tells me to wait. Wait for Him. But it’s so hard to wait. And you want to tell Him that you can’t wait. That you want your answers and you want everything now. But it isn’t about what we want. Time. And there it is again. The thing that we are never happy with. We complain about time, how we never have enough or how we have too much, how it goes by too slow or too fast. I don’t think Time likes that. I think of Time as a child, a little child who wants to see the world and believes in the best of everybody. But when the child gets hurt, just like people complain about time, the child is broken and Time isn’t happy. Time doesn’t deserve that. It isn’t fair to Time because Time was already set. Time has been set since before any of us were even born. So when we complain about time, we’re really saying that we don’t approve of God’s choices and what He wants for us.

We have no control over time. We have no control over how fast it goes or how slow. All we can control is how we spend it. I don’t know about you but I know that I won’t spend my time angry over things I can’t control. I will forgive those who have hurt me, even if they don’t deserve forgiveness but because I deserve peace. I will trust Him more and know that everything will work out the way He wants to and everything will happen in His timing.

I hear it all the time around this time of year, the book is ending, the book is ending. Darling, the book doesn’t end until you take your last breath. You are here. You are now. You are in the thick of your book. Maybe it’s the rising action or the climax or the falling action but you aren’t at your resolution. You aren’t at your last chapter yet. Your story is still being written. 

This is something I consistently have to remind myself of, especially when I look back on the past year. I see how far I’ve come, not only as a writer but also with my relationship with God. I had always dreamed about using my words to inspire people but never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be sitting here and pouring my heart out to people all over the world. I thought if a few people in the USA would read my blog that, that would complete me. That I would be satisfied. But words can’t express what I feel when I see people from India and China and Mexico and Brazil and England and France and so many other places that I’ve never even been to, read my little blog. There are people who live thousands and thousands of miles from me and they read my little blog. My little blog filled with words that sometimes even I struggle to believe. I’ve come so far but I have so much farther to go. And I can’t help but think that this is where I am supposed to be. And I can’t help but feel like God is whispering in my ear, “You’re making it, little one. You’re getting there. This is how you were supposed to end up. This is where you are meant to be. Don’t you see? Can’t you see how I’ve worked everything out?” Yes I can see now and I hope you, wherever you are, whether you live down the street from me or on the other side of the world, I hope you’re starting to see too.

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